The Difficulty of Taking Charge

**Disclaimer: This blog does not give any medical or financial advice.


I am so glad I made the difficult decision of forcing mom to see a new gastro dr. She liked her FORMER gastro dr…why???  He was “nice.”   Well, as my Aunt Dot said, “Who Cares About Nice?”   Yes, we all want our drs to be “nice,” but being nice should include being very aware and knowledgeable.  What a difference in Mom’s demeanor this morning!   No depression!  She thanked me for taking her to a new dr yesterday and realized it was a necessity. I’m not saying this new dr is a miracle worker, I’m taking it one day at a time. Mom came in the car with me and even walked thru the supermarket late this morning!!!! WOW to that!!!   As I type this, a new roof is being put on my home, so staying inside. I may have the afternoon off from Mom’s. I didn’t return there for lunch since I was there from about 7am til close to noon and she was doing so much better. We speak on the phone a lot!!!!   Today is the best day in a long time.  I am so thankful.

8 thoughts on “The Difficulty of Taking Charge

  1. We find the most important criterion for our mother is whether the doctor is nice. It seems more important than the technical skills we, as her children, think are important. There might be something to it.

  2. In the article, Switching Roles: Coping with Your Rebellious Aging Parent, Carolyn Rosenblatt states: “At some point, the adult child who loves a parent must step in.” And in my post: When Parent-Child Roles become Fuzzy, I said, “Switching roles, or even the perception of switching roles, is indeed difficult.”

    Since your mom was happy with the result of changing doctors, I’m thinking your “forcing” her was done with dignity and respect.

    • Yes…she’s grateful I made her get a 2nd opinion. In the meantime, I am struggling with depression, not clinical, just normal depression, anxiety, fear all tied to Mom. I know she’ll be 91 in December and as someone said to me, when she dies, no one can say she died young. I do understand that, but she’s my mom and I love her so much. I’m glad we’re seeing the new dr again tomorrow for a follow up. Thanks so much for your support!!!!

      • At some point, the process of living just becomes too exhausting for some folks. I also think it has a lot to with individual will. Does your mother express her feelings about this (difficult) topic?

      • Mom tells me all the time she wants to live and I believe her. In the car this afternoon we said we’re a team and we’ve got a good routine. She enjoyed sightseeing again today and ate her lunch when we returned home. I thank you for your insightful comments!!!!

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